As often, the loud minority gives a bad name to the others. People meet a lot of respectful Christians, but doesn’t even know they’re Christians, as they don’t shove it in anyone’s throat. They meet a few vocal Christians, and know they’re Christians, and then think they’re the only ones.

That I could do, if it made sense in the context.

Do you believe your wife will go to hell?

No. I don’t believe in all that “you have to confess Jesus as your personal lord and saviour to avoid hell” crap. It’s in fact something not very widespread outside evangelicalism. I believe the Cross is working mysteriously, far outside the frontier of the visible Church. A God who condemns people that doesn’t recognize him is not a loving God, it’s a pervert. I believe that “to confess Jesus as my personal lord and saviour” is a way to live a better life here and now, and I don’t expect an eternal reward for that.

Is she agnostic or does she believe there is no god?

I’d say she’s agnostic atheist. She doesn’t know if God exist, but believes he does not, and in fact doesn’t care.

I live in France, where it’s illegal to have a religious marriage without having a civil one first. As a pastor, I have to ask a proof that the people I religiously marries are already married civilly. I agree theologically with that, as protestants don’t marry people, they bless an already existing marriage.

So we had both. To be honest, in France, civil marriages are quite dull: it takes 5 minutes, the mayor or their deputy reads the law, asks for consent, makes the people sign, and it’s the next couple’s turn. It’s very administrative. There’s a little decorum, but just a little.

So, even for people without strong belief, the ritual makes the marriage something special. It was the case for my spouse, at least. She’s atheist, but she respects my faith, as I respect her atheism; she knew it was important for me, so that made it important for her.

I would warn you though: if your girlfriend is Catholic, you’ll have yo promise to raise your children in the Catholic faith. If your girlfriend is evangelical, they may ask you to testify of your faith. I’d say to discuss this with her first very openly, and test the waters with her priest/pastor. 90% are cool people, with whom you’ll be able to be open, and they won’t refuse you as long as they don’t sense that you opposes the whole thing. 10% are assholes; I’d advice you to look for an other one; if it’s the one your girlfriend wants, lie to them (as long as your girlfriend agrees with that). You don’t marry for the officiant, you owe them nothing.

No, she never was Christian, nor anything else for that matter.

I’m a Christian pastor happily married to an atheist, AMA.