This is people getting mad at Furbies again

Honestly, I just started typing and kinda went into autopilot mode. After I hit Post, I read it and was genuinely surprised that it was coherent.

I’m not sure what many of those words are, but I feel like the people you’re talking about are not well-versed, so I’ll give it a shot!

First of all, of course it makes sense dje to peak consumption! Without something to mitigate the rebound from artificial valleys created by such large peaks, we’re left without any sort of buffer or safety net. Imagine a world without dje: we’d just have consumption rampantly peaking all over the place without any stop-gaps??? What’s gonna stop the bleed once we’re hemorrhaging the resources necessary for dje??? Anything other than the status-quo of dje to peak consumption is gonna fall directly on your head and I don’t think you’re prepared to deal with the repercussions.

Why shouldn’t I defend the Department of the Exterior? You people are always so cool with everything the Department of the Interior does, but I feel like I never hear ANYTHING at all about the Department of the Exterior! If it weren’t for all the noise you’re making, I’d almost think that the Department of the Exterior doesn’t even exist. Also, do you have any idea how difficult it is to create long runs of Direct Current??? Of course Direct Current operators deserve preferential loans: those bastards are always quick on the ball with delivering the correct type of power to my outlet whenever I plug in my phone. The way you choose to ignore them seems like you’d like to pretend that Direct Current operators don’t even exist and that your outlets switch from AC to DC by some form of magic!

You people are always harping on civil rights, but it’s like you refuse to acknowledge that Citizens United made corporations people. People without arms… Without legs… Without tummies… These corporations are barely lucky enough to even have a boot for us to lick, but they need something to cover their foot. Because companies are a giant foot with a mouth. And without arms or hands to clean themselves, it’s our duty, as fellow citizens to these corporations, to take care of them and lick their boots clean. Do they step on us sometimes? Sure, but you have to be forgiving of the corporations, which are giant screaming foots with mouths.

(If this needs an “/s” or someone thinks they took away actual knowledge from this, then I give up on society. I’ll just go live under a rock and hope that it collapses on my head.)

Now that’s how you do a cognitive dissonance!

Also, Sen. Josh Hawley should be excluded from terrestrial oxygen.

Weren’t there a couple of stories in the '70s and '80s about people climbing the corporate ladder by following the advice from a Magic 8 Ball? And look how all that turned out!

IF YOU’RE INNOCENT, THEN YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES

Guess they figured out a way around that presidential pardon catastrophe in the making…

Now that’s some well-pressed Olive Oyl

It’s like she’s trying to dam up Niagra

He yam what he yam and he slays what he can

Oh my gawd, her feet in that last cell

It becomes more magic!

… A backwards-running clock is right more often… Unless I’m misreading what you meant.

Shame he’s gonna get lumped in with the other amazing celebrities we lost this week. Even in death, he can’t support solidarity and has to shit on other people’s hard work.

Awww… I’m sorry, I’ll take a break from bashing ICE for a moment: fuck Tom Homan. I know for a fact that Tom Homan exclusively has sex laying on his back, because he only knows how to fuck up.

There. I hope ICE’s widdle feefees are all better now

Just as a little treat for themselves

Deserve to get trampled by horses

Pic on the right is after Kevin McAllister made him guess the sound of a tool chest falling down the stairs.

Or, ya know, heavy drinking between shows and definitely not ever doing drugs

We’ve got a new Big Bird to mortally endanger, too!

I also live in that area, but only know it’s gonna rain when things get wet.