Sorry Maryland, too busy building gulags.

Everything is already a mockery of what it’s supposed to be, why the hell not.

Maybe now we really know why he killed the pope.

I wish our good news was better but the little victories count too.

Hey man, slow down with all that conclusion-jumping, we don’t have all the facts yet. He might’ve fucked little boys too.

Even if we get this guy back, I’d have some concerns about anything private or sensitive crossing his desk as well as any input he may offer on significant decisions. MSS asset until proven otherwise.

No issue is too small for his tiny hands to latch on.

No special protections for child-rape book clubs. Hope that covers the nuances unlike the judge in the headline who is covering for nonces.

It might make sense to stock up on some spare parts before launching an invasion. Left a lung or a liver lying on the front line? No biggie, they’ve got you. A PLA soldier who survives multiple tours will be like a walking ship of Theseus.

I get being embarrassed but resignation seems like an overreaction. Coldplay isn’t that bad.

Hey other tech CEOs, when you take your mistress to a concert where there’s a crowd camera, have a chat ahead of time about how to play it cool. Bet nobody would have noticed if they’d just smiled and been boring for a second until the operator moved on. That’ll be $50,000 please.

I’m shocked he has any children at all (for a variety of reasons) with pull-out game like his. My best guess is that half-pump chump Trump lost his balance at the critical moment of entry and, from those four occasions, life was made. Five occasions, I forgot one but to be fair, so does he.

Sounds like child abuse. Hope they get the state they’re working so hard to build.

Pour one out for future comedy writers whose bizarre caricatures of Oklahoman ignorance will be tame and ordinary next to the real thing.

Don’t hold your breath for him to acknowledge the difference between his words and actions his other words, hypoxia causes brain damage and brain damage is a path to Republicanism.